Visual versus Emotional
Allah has created men and women differently. One of the most pronounced differences between genders when it comes to issues of intimacy is arousal. Each gender has been keyed to respond to different senses. If a couple wishes to maximize feelings of closeness and intimacy, it is essential that each party understands the other’s arousal mechanism.
For men, the primary sense of arousal is physical. Seeing the figure, smelling the aroma, and touching the body of a woman is what arouses a man. When a man’s physical needs are satisfied, he is most likely to reciprocate with emotional responses.
For a woman, on the other hand, the primary sense of arousal is emotional. Feeling loved, appreciated and cared for are the underlying emotional factors that will mostly make the woman love back in return. When a woman’s emotional needs are satisfied, she is more likely to reciprocate with physical responses.
One of the biggest sources of conflict in a marriage is this simple lack of understanding. Women feel used when their husbands take advantage of them physically but ignore their emotional needs. On the other hand, men feel frustrated that their wives are so withdrawn and cold during acts of intimacy, complaining both at the quantity and quality of these acts. Both parties need to give more of what the other party wants, in order to receive back what they themselves desire.
A marriage is a give-and-take relationship. It is a two way street. You must give the best of what your partner wants in order to obtain the best of what you wish to receive. Men need to learn to be more sensitive and understanding, and women need to learn to be more physical.
Source: Like A Garment – Sheikh Yasir Qadhi.
Please download the complete ebook at http://www.likeagarment.com/ebook/
A.O.A
Great information!
Thanks a lot
Jazaak Allah Khair
Salam,
Thats a wonderful advice, and true for both men n women. I hope people understand the way their spouse thinks and feels good, then only the increasing divorce rates will go down…I read somewhere else that majority of problems between husband and wife are because of the problems in their sex life initially.
Great advice, but we need practical advice as well, such as tips on how to solve these misunderstandings!
Inaccurate and unrepresentative. I know that men and women are physiologically different but men are not cavemen from Mars, which is what this article seems to portray. Men are humans as much as female. Macho egoism is against Islam.
Give pre-marital courtships the test of enough time before the full blown stage of marriage. Use your brains to assess family and compatibility before your hearts and desires overrule it. You’ll reach a fine point of decision whether to marry or not. Do isthikhaarah even, and trust Allaah. Do some sabr but DON’T DELAY EITHER. I’ve volumes to write on this subject but I think sexual issues are manifestations of other compatibility issues.
I agree with Faraz, I think if there is compatibility in the other more important areas then this will result in a higher success in compatibility with intimacy. If a couple are able to communicate effectively and are on the same page, this will eliminate all the issues of not “Satisfying” the other partner.
I 100% agree with Faraz, and haven been married myself 2 years ago, I can say the same.
So many couples meet the Harram way, online, outside with no Mahram and No Wali. Sisters accept proposals without parents consent as they do in Kaffir society.
If couples were more critical and thought with their heads and not their hearts than there would be more success in Marriage in all areas, including intimacy. Making sure the families are good, the sister/Brother Fear Allah and have high taqwa and respect of Allah and the Faith. Most rush in with their hearts and no protection of family and wonder why when the first few months are over there is nothing left.
Allah bring us all back to the Sirratul Mustaqeem.