The Ten most common Myths about Marriage

What do myths and marriage have in common?

1. Must resolve conflict before going to bed = False
This is how it goes: a couple should never leave a conflict unresolved at night. Consider the facts: both the partners are tired, emotionally charged and physically and emotionally exhausted. Studies show it takes about 30 minutes for brainwaves to get back to their normal state of balance when stressed. Resolving conflicts right before retiring to bed may not be the best thing to do for a healthy relationship.

2. Opposites attract = False
There are many studies that prove similarities are what keep people together in the long run. Having a lot in common with your spouse-to-be or spouse is desirable.

3. Women fall for men faster than men fall for women = False
Studies show men fall in love more quickly than women and more men believe in love-at-first-sight than women. Studies also show women are more selective and cautious in selecting Mr.Right.

4. Conflict means your marriage is in trouble = False
A conflict is not necessarily a red flag. This is by far the biggest misconception people have about marriage. The best and longest lasting marriages are those that have a healthy dose of conflict from time to time. The harder the effort made to repair the damage, the stronger the relationship.

5. Jealousy means your spouse cares about you = False
Not true. Jealousy is not true love and is actually a sign of low self esteem.

6. Passion dies with time = False
Studies show a strong passion during the “honeymoon” phase for about 18 months. However a long lasting passion is recreated from creating a new “you.” A small change in looks, dress or even behavior enhancing romance can create that newness again. The cycle of attraction lasts 18 full months: prepare ever so often!

7. Men are less romantic than women = False
Studies show more men believe in romance than women.

8. Spouses should agree on everything = False
Sometimes spouses just have to agree to disagree. That is what makes them individuals.

9. Love is less important over time = False
Studies show lasting relationships spanning over 15 years are sustained by high doses of compassionate love. People assume it’s all about mutual support and stability but that is not verifiable. Aim to increase in love for each other over time.

10. Separate lives help the relationship = False
Independence is good for individuals. Research shows if spouses are independent socially, emotionally and financially, there is less incentive to stay together.

The key to a strong and healthy relationship is to have balance in your life.