Istikhaarah – Do you know how?
We get a lot of questions regarding Istikhaarah (prayer for guidance) and how to perform it. Seems like this practice is completely neglected until it’s time for choosing a marriage partner. And because many of us don’t practice this on a regular basis, we don’t really know how to perform it, nor what to expect.
There are some serious misconceptions with regards to Istikhaarah such as:
- that others have to perform it for you
- only the pious people can perform it
- you must view or see a dream which is clear
- that you cannot ask anyone for their opinion regarding a matter
- and the list just keeps going on and on.
As always, due to our own ignorance we have made something so simple and easy a burden upon ourselves. Also this and many other duas can be found in a small book or even apps now for your phone from a dua book called Hisnul Muslim or Fortress of the Muslim. It’s for a very nominal price and very simple with instructions on how to perform these duas and when to perform them. I highly recommend it as it will probably be one of the best investments you will make.
As we will see from a very detailed explanation below about Salat al Istikhaarah that it is used for many matters and frequently by Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam and his companions.
Special Thanks to:Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid – Islam Q&A
Praise be to Allaah.
The description of Salaat al-Istikhaarah was reported by Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah al-Salami (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said:
“The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to teach his companions to make istikhaarah in all things, just as he used to teach them soorahs from the Qur’aan. He said: ‘If any one of you is concerned about a decision he has to make, then let him pray two rak’ahs of non-obligatory prayer, then say: Allaahumma inni astakheeruka bi ‘ilmika wa astaqdiruka bi qudratika wa as’aluka min fadlika, fa innaka taqdiru wa laa aqdir, wa ta’lamu wa laa a’lam, wa anta ‘allaam al-ghuyoob. Allaahumma fa in kunta ta’lamu haadha’l-amra (then the matter should be mentioned by name) khayran li fi ‘aajil amri wa aajilihi (or: fi deeni wa ma’aashi wa ‘aaqibati amri) faqdurhu li wa yassirhu li thumma baarik li fihi. Allaahumma wa in kunta ta’lamu annahu sharrun li fi deeni wa ma’aashi wa ‘aaqibati amri (or: fi ‘aajili amri wa aajilihi) fasrifni ‘anhu [wasrafhu ‘anni] waqdur li al-khayr haythu kaana thumma radini bihi (O Allaah, I seek Your guidance [in making a choice] by virtue of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your great bounty. You have power, I have none. And You know, I know not. You are the Knower of hidden things. O Allaah, if in Your knowledge, this matter (then it should be mentioned by name) is good for me both in this world and in the Hereafter (or: in my religion, my livelihood and my affairs), then ordain it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me. And if in Your knowledge it is bad for me and for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs (or: for me both in this world and the next), then turn me away from it, [and turn it away from me], and ordain for me the good wherever it may be and make me pleased with it.” – (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6841; similar reports are also recorded by al-Tirmidhi, al-Nisaa’i, Abu Dawood, Ibn Maajah and Ahmad).
Ibn Hijr (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, commenting on this hadeeth:
Istikhaarah is a word which means asking Allaah to help one make a choice, meaning choosing the best of two things where one needs to choose one of them.
Concerning the phrase ‘The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to teach us to make istikhaarah in all things,’ Ibn Abi Jamrah said: ‘It is a general phrase which refers to something specific. With regard to matters that are waajib (obligatory) or mustahabb (liked or encouraged), there is no need for istikhaarah to decide whether to do them, and with regard to matters that are haraam (forbidden) or makrooh (disliked), there is no need for istikhaarah to decide whether to avoid them. The issue of istikhaarah is confined to matters that are mubaah (allowed), or in mustahabb matters when there is a decision to be made as to which one should be given priority.’ I say: it refers to both great and small matters, and probably an insignificant issue could form the groundwork for a big issue.
The phrase ‘If any one of you is concerned…’ appears in the version narrated by Ibn Mas’ood as: ‘if any one of you wants to do something…’
‘Let him pray two rak’ahs of non-obligatory prayer.’ This is mentioned to make it clear that it does not mean fajr prayer, for example. Al-Nawawi said in al-Adhkaar: He can pray istikaarah after two rak’ahs of regular sunnah prayer done at zuhr for example, or after two rak’ahs of any naafil prayers whether they are regularly performed or not… It seems to be the case that if he made the intention to pray istikhaarah at the same time as intending to pray that particular prayer, this is fine, but not if he did not have this intention.
Ibn Abi Jamrah said: The wisdom behind putting the salaat before the du’aa’ is that istikhaarah is intended to combine the goodness of this world with the goodness of the next. A person needs to knock at the door of the King (Allaah), and there is nothing more effective for this than prayer, because it contains glorification and praise of Allaah, and expresses one’s need for Him at all times.
The phrase ‘then let him say’ would seem to imply that the du’aa’ should be said after finishing the prayer, and the word thumma (then) probably means after reciting all the words of the salaat and before saying salaam.
The phrase ‘O Allaah, I seek Your guidance by virtue of Your knowledge’ is explaining ‘because You know best.’ Similarly, ‘by virtue of Your power’ most likely means ‘seeking Your help.’ ‘I seek ability’ (astaqdiruka) means ‘I ask You to give me the power or ability (qudrah) to do’ whatever is being asked for, or it probably means ‘I ask You to decree (tuqaddir) this for me.’ So it may mean making it easy.
‘I ask You of Your great bounty’ refers to the fact that Allaah gives out of His great generosity, but no one has the right to His blessings. This is the opinion of Ahl al-Sunnah.
‘You have power, I have none. And You know, I know not’ refers to the fact that power and knowledge belong to Allaah alone, and the slave has no share of them except what Allaah decrees for him.
‘O Allaah, if in Your knowledge this matter…’ According to one report, he should mention it by name. It is apparent from the context that he should state it, but it is probably sufficient to be thinking of the matter whilst making this du’aa’.
‘Then ordain it for me’ means ‘make it happen for me’ or it may mean ‘make it easy for me.’
‘Then turn it away from me, and turn me away from it’ means ‘so that my heart will no longer feel attached to it after it has been turned away.’
‘Make me pleased with it’ means ‘make me content with it, so that I will never regret asking for it or be sorry that it happened, because I do not know how it will turn out, even if at the time of asking I am pleased with it.’
The secret is that one’s heart should not be attached to the matter in question, because that will result in a person becoming restless. Being pleased with something means that one’s heart is content with the decree of Allaah.
(Summarized from the commentary of al-Haafiz Ibn Hijr (may Allaah have mercy on him) on the hadeeth in Saheeh al-Bukhaari, Kitaab al-Da’waat and Kitaab al-Tawheed.).
s.a.
about 7 months ago I did Istikhaarah for 7 times or more before I got married. after long prayers and lots of Istikhaarah’s eventually my marriage become easy and I got married. 7 months later now I we are in divorce. this marriage cost me so much pain, over $20,000 money and sadness, and tears and what have you, now I am in great depression. if I had any sign from Istikhaarah that I should not marry to this lady then most probably I would not. but I did because relaying on Istikhaarah things were easy and we got marry.
due to our divorce our lives turn into a hell. I am in hell because of this matter.
what whet wrong with Istikhaarah?
if this decision was completely mine then what happen to my “kader” destiny or fate?
if this was my fate then it was not my decision but Allah’s. If so then how come Allah will let me marry and go through all these pain and knowing we were going to divorce anyway so why Allah made us suffer?
is this kader? then its not my decision!
if it was my decision then what is kader, destiny, fate?
if Istikhaarah works then why didn’t worked for me!
if Istikhaarah is not helping then why we Muslims are all falling a part!
does 100% Muslim do Istikhaarah? look majority if them are happily marry etc.
do all non-Muslims do Istikhaarah before marriage or anything they do?
Are we Muslims are ruining ourselves with lots of stories such as Istikhaarah ????
thanks,
E.
Wa 3alekum Asalam E,
I pray Allah gives you strength to get past this. First I recommend you speak to someone about your depression. I’m sorry that this is your fate and what Allah decided for you millions of years ago before you were born, but the first step a strong Muslim with grounded iman will do is stop feeling sad. Accept that this is your fate, and say El7amdulilah. We don’t know Allah’s wisdom but have faith that this is the best option for you. I understand that we as normal feable humans can’t comprehend why Allah would choose to take us down a painful road but we have to rise above it and say el7amdulilah that I prayed istikhara and Allah sent me down this road which is the better one, for the other must have been worse. When we think of better we think of worldly better, less pain, more material possessions, etc… but when Allah thinks of better he is thinking of the bigger picture, of elakhira. Look at your situation as an outsider and see that Allah has given you a challenge to help erease some of your sins. El7amdulilah. How amazing? Even our struggles are a gift from Allah.
Something we need to understand about istikhara is that we ask Allah for guidance and that’s what he does. We make the decision, but Allah grants us baraka in our decision. Sometimes we make the wrong decision, so Allah sets things in motion to correct it. I’ve prayed istikhara many times and made the wrong decision before, Allah changes things, it was like the snap of a finger sometimes. It hurt, but Allah only pushed me as much as I could handle. You must be a very strong person for Allah to burden you with divorce. Say el7amdulilah Allah recognizes your strengths, and el7amdulilah Allah loves you so much he wants to erease some of your sins, and el7amdulilah Allah loves you even more he wants to make you a better Muslim. Masha’allah you’re going to get through this and be stronger, better and closer to Allah. May Allah send you the pateince to get through this. Finally may Allah reward you with Jannah, don’t lose sight of that, that’s what he wants to give you if you are patient enough.
Salam
Assalamo alaikum,
Jazak’Allahu Khayr for the article!
In reply to E’s question, I can say that I had similar questions when a similar incident happened in my family. I found my answer walhumdulillah and I will share it with you insha’Allah.
Our purpose of existence in this world is to worship Allah (swt) and we as Muslims try to achieve that by achieving pleasure of Allah(swt) by sticking to the straight path (and asking Allah(swt) to help us with our quest because we are forgetful).
That said, a part of the dua that you made in your istikhara was, “… And You know, I know not. You are the Knower of hidden things. O Allaah, if in Your knowledge, this matter (then it should be mentioned by name) is good for me both in this world and in the Hereafter (or: in my religion, my livelihood and my affairs), then ordain it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me. …”
You asked Allah(swt) to ordain it for you only if it is good for you “both in this world and in the Hereafter”. We do not know what is best for us and so we put our faith in Allah(swt) that in our affairs, happiness proceeds a calamity. Indeed Allah(swt) inflicts a believer with a calamity if He wishes khayr (better) for him. In the end, what matters is if the calamity brought you closer to Allah(swt) and that is the goal of our life in this world and the goal of doing istikhara.
Other than this, think about the whole process you went through. Did you do something haram before getting married and did istikhara at the same time? (For example, many engaged Muslim couples go out on a number of “dates” before getting married)
I am not a scholar and this is a correct answer to the best of my knowledge. I may have mentioned something false and I ask Allah(swt) to forgive me and I ask the reader to correct me. Wallahu’Alam
Wassalamu alaikum
Salam brother E.
I’m sorry to hear about your situation, I pray that it gets easier for you.
This is just my opinion, but here goes,
Theres enough evidence that Salat al Istikhaarah was taught to us by the Prophet SAW so saying that it’s a ‘story’ is completely wrong and shows weakness in your knowledge and imaan.
As for non-Muslims doing salat al istikhaara? Why would they ask for guidence from Allah SWT when they don’t believe in him? And if they did pray to a false god what good will that do when there is no power besides the power of Allah SWT?
No 100% of Muslims don’t do salat al Istikhaarah, I guess your trying to say “how come they are happy if they didn’t do Istikhaarah?”
Let me ask you this, did anyone say that if you didn’t do Istikhaarah you would be unhappy? Did someone say that if you did do Istikhaarah you’d be happy? Did someone say that if you did do Istikhaarah it would be answered guaranteed?
Istikhaarah is a guidance prayer, whether Allah SWT wishes to guide you or not is upto him, you do not have a right to his blessings. So stop blaming Allah SWT for your misfortune, maybe you should thank him for what you do have, if you could afford to spend $20,000 on marriage, I’m guessing you have more than the majority of the people in this world. You should remember that its only money at the end of the day.
Our prophet said something like assume that your Istikhaarah has been accepted unless you hasten “if Istikhaarah works then why didn’t worked for me!” How do you know it never worked? Maybe something like this happened so that something good can come out of it? You are only seeing the short term effects of your misfortune, maybe it will make you a better person? Maybe Allah SWT is testing your faith? How do you think you are doing? Maybe you will find a better wife whom you will be happy with through your misfortune. Then you will say your divorce was a blessing in disguise right?
Life is full of trials, through money, health, family, everything how you choose to deal with those trials is upto you, but what trials you face in your lifetime is your fate.
A persons life in this world is not stable. One passes through alternating periods of happiness and dismay, strength and weakness. wealth and povert, health and sickness etc. A true believer is one who maintains a clear level of Eemaan throughout the wordly fluctuations. He continues to remember Allah and ascribe the bounties to Him; and he turns to Him in submission, asking for relief from his affliction. This is described by the Messenger (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) who said:
” Indeed amazing are the affairs of a believer ! They are all for his benefit; If he is granted ease of living he is thankful; and this is best for him. And if he is afflicted with a hardship, he perseveres; and this is best or him.” [ Muslim ]
And Allah (S) said (which means);
” Certainly, We shall test you with fear,hunger,loss of wealth,lives and fruits; but give glad tidings to the patient – those who, when afflicted with calamity say, “Truly to Allah we belong, and truly to Him shall we return.” it is those who will be awarded blessings and mercy from their Lord; and it is those who are the guided ones.” [ 2:155-157 ]
Thus, a believer shows gratitude and thankfulness for all the wonderful blessings that Allah grants him. And he displays patience and submission during sickness and hardships, hunger, or other afflictions.
Assalamoalaikum Brother E.
Alhumdolillah bro, I have been married since less than a year, however I was engaged with my fiance (now wife!) for a little more than a year before marriage. I did istikhaara to decide to engage one from two girls that all of my family liked and I liked too. In my heart, I knew that I like them both so it doesn’t matter which one I choose as my life partner.
In a way, I had to choose from two good options, not from one bad and one good. All praises to Allah (swt) that I did istikhaarr for 3 nights and still couldn’t see anything clearly but I felt that I was getting attracted or declined towards one of the two options. I mentioned my feelings to my parents, and decided to get engaged to her(the one I was declined towards).
Now that I am married, subhanAllah bro every minute of my life I praise Allah that I chose this girl as my life partner. Although I don’t always mention this to my wife, I think I could never find anyone better than her.
My point is that I fully believed that both these options were best for me. Ofcourse, shaytaan tries to incept other ideas in my mind regularly and that its job. Also, I sympathize with your situation brother but I think you should not let it disturb your “yaqeen” in Allah and what’s in your fate. May be if something much better is awaiting in your life, and this pain and loss that you have faced would help you realise and enjoy the good that is going to come in your life soon. Who knows what else is in your fate?
My request to you is to strengthen your faith, your belief in Allah and seeking guidance from Allah (swt) regularly, do not let anything generalise your opinion about istikhaara. May Allah guide us all and make us successfully in this world and the hereafter. May Allah bless us peace and tranquility from our spouses.
JazakAllah khair,
Salam, pls can I do istikhaarah and ask ALLAh to give me a righteous husband with other specifications as nobody has proposed to me yet?
Salam Brother E.
Not sure what you case is but often times we tend to rely on a single or just a number of prayers to perform and expect that everything should fall in place for us, please remember that Allah likes CONSISTENCY, if you do something for Allah’s sake just when you need it and then later don’t keep up with it, how can we then expect Allah’s blessing on consistent basis if we are not consistent ourselves.
Please note that istikhara is not the only thing can make or break a marriage, neither is istikhara something that could show you the future, it is a prayer and prayer without action does wouldn’t do anything and same goes the other way, meaning that you pray to Allah for your best but then your action do not indicate that, then what do expect from Allah. Please note that I am not criticizing your actions since I don’t know them but would like to suggest that you re-evaluate what has happened during this period of 7 months and you might be able to see something that you should have/could have done differently not to reach such consequences.
Most of our consequences in life can somehow be directly or indirectly related to our (previous/current)actions.
Last but not least, be optimistic about it, one of the biggest blessings from Allah to us is that “a human tends to forget everything with time” and Inshallah you will get over it as well with time.
Your questioning is understandable but this might just be a test for you from Allah, and remember that when Allah wants good for his people he puts them through tests (this is from a Hadith that I do not have the direct reference available at the moment but can provide if needed), and the best way you can pass this test is by being a SABIR (patient) because Allah like SABR (patience).
May Allah bring you the best in this world and hereafter. Ameen.
Salam alaikum E,
It saddens my heart to hear such things happening. But do not forget we are all tried by Allah in one way or the other and the ruination of your hope for a good marriage may be a milestone for something better. Do not let this bad news stop you from thanking God.Just keep praying and you shall see what He will do for you in the future. I had a similar case like yours although mine was not marriage. But after I lost that thing, I actually felt free and happy. I would rather lose it than to have won and be unhappy. Just step back and think, what do i feel after divorcing this woman, am i better off losing her and some worldly goods now, or stying with her and be miserable and lose more in the long run or even in the hereafter. I am a woman and a feminist, but it still does not blind me to the ways and conniving mind of some of my fellow women. But you should also look to yourself and ask what you did wrong. Accepting your faults will go a long way in helping you come to terms with the end of your marriage. I cannot attempt to be empathic to your plight but rather feel sympathy for you and for her. Hope you will consider what everyone has said and work with what is best for you.
Wassalam!!
DEAR E,
I HAVE THE PERFECT ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION. BECAUSE EXACTLY THE SAME THING HAPPENED WITH ME. AND I UNDERWENT THE SAME FEELINGS AS YOURS, EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY DID ISTIKARA AND SO ON AND THE RESULT WAS LIKE YOURS…
BUT WHAT HAPPENED WITHIN A YEAR JUST ANSWERED ALL MY QUESTIONS….IN MY FIRST MARRIAGE I HAD ALL THESE WORLDLY EXPECTATIONS FROM THE PERSON OF BEING EDUCATED HIGH STATUSED..BLAH-BLAH AND THE PERSON GAVE ME SO MUCH PAIN…AFTER THIS INCIDENT, A PROPOSAL CAME ALONG FROM SOMEONE WHOM ME OR MY FAMILY WOULD HAVE NEVER ACCEPTED HAD I NOT UNDERGONE THIS INCIDENCE, WE JUST FELT THE PERSON WAS NOT UP TO MY MATCH, STANDARD WISE, LEVEL WISE ETC….HOWEVER, BECAUSE I UNDERWENT THIS DIVORCE, NOW I HAD LITTLE OPTIONS AND I HAD TO KIND OF ACCEPT THIS PERSON BECAUSE OF LACK OF CHOICE….AND NOW I HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO THIS PERSON FOR SOMETIME NOW, AND I THINK THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME….I CUDNT HAVE BEEN HAPPIER IN LIFE, AND I AM SO HAPPY THAT THE DIVORCE HAPPENED BECAUSE OR ELSE I WOULD HAVE NEVER GIVEN THIS WONDERFUL PERSON A CHANCE WHO IS AN ANGEL IN DISGUISE…..EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THIS PERSON MY HEART FILLS WITH HAPPINESS….SO ALLAH HAD A REASON BEHIND THE WHOLE PROCESS….AND I AM SO THANKFUL TO HIM FOR HAVING ME GO THROUGH THAT PAIN NOW….OFCOURSE AT THAT TIME MY OUTLOOK WAS NOT LIKE THIS….I FELT MISERABLE THE WAY YOU DO NOW….BUT I PRAYED LIKE CRAZY…I PRAYED FOR HAPPINESS AND EVENTUALLY ALLAH GAVE ME…ALHAMDULIALLAH….ITS EASIER SAID THAN DONE…BUT I HAVE GONE THROUGH IT AND CAN TOTALLY UNDERSTAND YOUR FEELINGS…..JUST PRAY….TRUST ME IT IS GOING TO HELP YOU EASE THE PAIN AND INSHALLAH ALLAH WILL EVENTUALLY GIVE YOU SOMETHING MUCH BETTER….
Z
Asslam Alakum aim Noman “Innalazina – Fi – Hazal – Li- Rabbi ” Tamam Tarif us Khuda Ki Hai .no one to in these universal to have complete knowledge ? do you know what is the different between knowledge,wisdom n divine. we don’t have divine knowledge ? god is “Akbar” do you no what is the meaning of Akbar we pray to god in Azan Allah Akbar we call him these is superlative degree ?no one is there ? “Allah” is unique word? I don’t want to heart any one i don’t want to say aim greatest ? to say tarif of Allah subahan tala that enough if aim heart any one i apogee my mistake .
Jazakamullah khayr, brothers istikhaarah itself wont be enough, you have to do dhikr and istighfar and then probably u will get some answers but no matter what you do put your trust in allah all the time.
http://mogreen88.wordpress.com/2012/05/22/how-to-do-istikhara/