The Young Man and the Elder Stranger A 24-YEAR-OLD man lived in a small town where everyone knew everyone else. He had a reputation as someone who could not keep a job for long, who did just the necessary minimum to get by. He never hurt anyone or committed any crime but seemed to have no ambition or willingness to improve […]
DISCUSSIONS WITH A close friend of mine were once dominated by her excitement and continuous expressions that she wanted to get married. She told me she had a brother in mind that captivated her with his charm, intelligence, and handsome looks. She said that he was interested in her as well. She said many things about him, but none of […]
MORE AND MORE awareness has been raised regarding the phenomenon of ‘marriage bandits’ – those men, often portraying themselves as ‘religious,’ who approach women with convincing proposals of marriage, charming them into shady arrangements resembling (barely) ḥalâl hook-ups rather than serious commitments. Shortly after, victims of these predators will find themselves used and abused, their Islamic rights disregarded, and their […]
PSYCHOLOGISTS DEFINE THE word ‘family’ as the first group of people that a child lives and interacts with in the first years of his life. During this period the child copies his parents in their attitudes, personality, reactions to different situations, cultural practices, etc… The first and foremost job of the family is to protect the fiṭra of the child. […]
IN OUR INTRODUCTION (“The Fires of Marriage: How to Stop Fighting With Your Spouse”) we discussed how marital conflict can be used as a tool to bring couples closer by strengthening their bond. Just as Allah’s Messenger œ mentioned that fitnah (tribulation) purifies the believer like a forge-fire purifies gold, there is perhaps no relationship that can purify a person better […]
PARENTING IS BASED on the unequivocal truth that mother and father know best, whether it is for, or about, their children. If those who essentially bring us into this world are not endowed with that faculty, then who else could possibly be? But parents themselves will tell you that is a contestable fact. There was a time when they too […]
MEN ARE JUST babies.” “Women are so emotional.” “Your husband is your first child.” “Don’t try to understand women.” In lectures and articles, from popular Muslim speakers and well-meaning aunties, these phrases are passed on as part and parcel of marriage advice or counsel on how to deal with the opposite gender. The tone is usually light-hearted, with a knowing […]
LOVE IS LEARNED, there’s no doubt about it. And, just as racism and hate is taught by actions and words throughout a child’s life, so is love and forbearance. In our communities, there is much love for all those material things in life – houses, cars, the latest and greatest gizmos. We teach our children to crave these things…but what […]
The Missing Marriage-Crisis Link MARRIAGE IS CURRENTLY one of the most popular topics in the Muslim community, and not just because people like a love story or aunties are bored (although those are true too). Marriage in America is in crisis, irrespective of religion. As a reaction, we constantly hear talks that seek to enlighten the average Muslim couple about their […]
If children are born into a marriage, it can highlight many of the differences that you were originally able to overlook as a couple. Some cultural differences, like food preferences and language difficulties, may be overcome in the first years of marriage. However, other challenges, like how to rear children, can stretch on for the whole of a couple’s parenting […]
