Question of the Week: Why is Divorce So High Amongst Young Muslim Couples?
Asalamu alaykum,
I’m struggling to deal with this one as it is almost at a chronic level. I’m thinking that an association towards the ease and sustainment of marriage should be established (at least on a local level). A course could be given over a two weekend period that covers the fiqh and social aspects of marriage. If one passes, I would marry him/her. If not, then let them try again. In addition, counselors, on a local level, or even mentors, could be assigned to couples to serve as their crutches through the first few years of their marriage. What are your thoughts and what can be done to help the problem?
Unrealistic expectations and an unwillingness to WORK towards a stronger marriage.
I agree certain level of counseling and expectations should be given to both couples before marriage. We have a problem with honeymoon phase of life that couples expect life should always be sweet. They need to be prepared for anything the first usually being child birth and the challenges that come with it specially for sisters. In my opinion the fist years are not the only times that needs to be monitored, it should be ongoing because couples need to stay on the same page regarding their life together, raising their children, finances and future plans most importantly RESPECT. Especially is couples start to have problems then they should seek counseling immediately before anger develops and distance between the two widens and chances for reconciliation becomes impossible.
I agree. I would also say that both families of the couple should also be forced to come to the course because ultimately they are forming ties. Often parents of the couple can be the source of the problem, whether it be the advice they give their children or the interference and criticism. So essentially this needs to be a family and community effort.
Marriage requires work from all parties. Love is a verb- a doing word.
Do in your marriage as an act of charity – don’t keep an account – and do it for His sake not his…..
Work from a common goal – faith based …
Forgive
Don’t hold grudges
BE COMMITTED TO THE MARRIAGE …..most important. You will not work on anything you are not 100% committed to.
Keep working at it and on it.
Don’t be scared to allow each other to BE outside of the marriage … it will keep you interested in each other.
Men…. showing your vulnerability is a source of strength. It shows your humanity and we live you for it.
I believe women are raised to be good sisters, daughters and wives while men are not taught to be decent brothers, sons, or husbands. There is a disconnect between the role of a spouse Islamically vs culturally. Unfortunately, cultural roles and expectations take precedence causing unhappy marriages.