Dislike your Parents?
Is it “Haram” to dislike your father to the extent that you do not participate in his janaza intentionaly for personal and unforgiving reasons?
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Dishonoring parents is perceived to be a major sin. Allah SWT has mentioned the obedience to the parents in parallel with his Tawheed.
Allah says in Surat Al-Isra’, verse 20: “Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour.”
Allah also says in surat Al-Baqara, verse 83: “And remember We took a Covenant from the Children of Israel (to this effect): worship none but Allah; treat with kindness your parents”
Allah says in surat Luqman, verse 14: “And We have enjoined on man (To be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), “Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.”
Ibn Abbass says with regard to the interpretation of this verse: “Whosoever shows gratitude to Allah but does not show gratitude to his parents, the gratitude towards Allah won’t be accepted from him.”
The scholars have explained that every kind of annoying to the parents, whether in word or deed, is an act of disobedience which means that the child is a sinner, because it goes against the command and prohibition of Allah, who has commanded us to speak to them and treat them with kindness.
It is reported in both Bukhari and Muslim that Ibn Abbass said: “The Messenger of Allah peace and blessings of Allah be upon him was asked which deed is the best? He said, “Faith in Allah and His Messenger, then honouring one’s parents…”
A muslim must understand that obeying and honouring one’s parents is a means of entering Paradise, as it was reported in Saheh Muslim from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet peace and blessings of Allah be upon him said: “He is doomed, he is doomed, he is doomed.” It was said, “Who, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “The person whose parents, one or both of them, reach old age during his lifetime but he does not enter Paradise.”
We also have to understand that if a person honours his parents this may be the cause of his own children honouring him, and whatever goes around comes around! However you treat your parents, Allah may bless you or afflict you with kids that would treat you the same.
We ask Allah to help us practise our deen and convey the message to others. Ameen
Sh. Riad Ouarzazi
Assalamu alaikum,
I would really like to know, is it also required if there are valid reasons (i.e. ill treatment, abuse etc from parent(s)) Or are we as children still required to respect, honour & obey, despite everything, including the parent(s) not practising Islam and hindering their children from practising?
Jazak’Allahu kair.
Assalamu Alaikum…
I would like to know, what if one’s non-muslim parent, say the father, is the immoral type? committing immoral acts for a long time [more than 10 years], many times already and still committing. An act which is very much against his wife.
and their child, say a son, who has embrace islam, only does certain things for his father as a son for the sake of Allah.
e.g.:
1] answer/reply back when ask/talk to in a neutral tone
2]iron his working clothings and help out with household chores
3]gives money
4]help him when he asked for help.
so as to show gratitude for what his father had done for him.
but nothing more than that. like never bring father out, never smile at him, never give the friendly aura because the son is still very angry with his father for still continuing to commit such an immoral act.
I would like to know, what should the son do in this scenario.
Thank you…