Expensive Weddings – Is it really Wise?
Our wedding day is one of the most special day of our lives. We are at the verge of beginning a new life with our new partner for not only this life but inshAllah for the life to come. We spare nothing to make sure that this day will be a perfect and memorable one. Due to this reason we sometimes lose sense of reality and really go for the extravagance in our weddings which haunts us for months or years to come with financial burdens.
Anyone who is generally not part of the wedding if asked would rule on the same issue differently but when it comes to their own wedding day they make the same mistakes. Buying the most expensive items, looking at the weddings they attended and following the same venue styles/size, food menus, expensive wedding cakes, dresses, professional video/camera crew, entertainment, suits and more guests than anyone can handle. All of these items add up and the pressure cooker doesn’t rise until after the wedding day when all the bills are sitting on your table and you have a headache like never before in your life. Then reality kicks in and you start to realize how you could have been wise on your wedding day and invested in the future of your marriage instead.
You ask yourself why are you spending so much of your money on just one day of your life? You can put this money together and actually rent an apartment for years, put a down payment for a house (the halal way of course), buy a car or maybe two of them and the list goes on but rather you want to spend it on this one day and show the world what a big fancy fairy tale wedding you are having and how you look like a prince or princess.
You can look at your wedding in two ways, wedding day or a first day of your married life. If you look at it that way, its the first day of your married life, so you have to think in the best interest of your new family and set your family up from the first day for success as husband and wife and not sink your ship in financial debt. Like all people who get married they are in it for the long haul and no one wants to end their marriage. Have fun and enjoy yourselves but keep everything in perspective and don’t look at others to have fun at your own wedding. Don’t have a measuring stick or weddings hanging over your head but rather enjoy your wedding within your means and a preset budget. You will therefore have a more relaxed and enjoyable experience all together and you will still be a prince/princess for years to come rather than just on that day.
I will end it off by saying “Wedding is not a fairy tale but the first real day of your married life.”
This has become one of my favourite article. Very well written, mashaAllaah!
Alhamdulilah ur words are encouraging,we pray Almighty Allah guide us nd not to mislead us.JAZAKUMLAH KHAIRAN
We spend more time planning than we do on succeeding…
i think spending so much on marriage then regretting it later u relise whats the point spending so much..inshallah i find a sister who wants a nice wedding to remmber and cheap 🙂
You can have a happy and successful marriage with a very low cost wedding as you can with a very expensive one. The cost of the wedding should not predict the outcome of the marriage itself. I Believe a cost efficient wedding is the best way to go so you can have more money to start your new life together and not start out with debt which is one of the top reasons couples fight.
It probably has a lot to do with delaying marriage, I guess we are weak and have adopted the western mentality that its the biggest day of our lives. But I don’t believe that big weddings are the downfall of marriages. it probably also affects the relations between the couple in question?
speaking from a princess lol messin… yh make dua to allah that who eva allah willed for us will happen and what eva happen will happen..may allah grant us success in this life and the hearafter ameen and im of 2 bed nyt
I don’t think is what delays marriage. It’s more to do with finding the right person, finishing education, getting settled in your jobs, waiting for the elder siblings to get married first etc. Finance is not an issue and people always tend to have weddings within their means. There is an emphasise and societal pressure from within the asian communities to have more expensive weddings though.
Prophet (SAW) considered simple weddings the best weddings:
‘The best wedding is that upon which the least trouble and expense is bestowed”.The worst of the feasts are those marriage feasts to which the rich are invited and the poor are left out”. (Mishkat). Unfortunately its a materialistic world out there, ppl r leaving the Sunnah and following the “Western culture” and going more into debt jus for namesake!! The simple wedding has more blessings.
Couples shld realize that real marriage life starts after akad nikah not the wedding itself. wat happens next wen all the saving is finished for the wedding are more troubles wen they shld be happy living together harmoniously.
most women dream for an expensive and big wedding once in their life..not realizing this event is very difficult for those believing men to give..some parents too demand extravagant wedding..
let us not make the wedding rites complicated..make everything easy for men & women who wants to get married..
About dowry Dowry is the bride right from her groom, prophet Muhammad SAW give 500 dirham dowry to Aisyah ra. Ali bin Abi Thalib also give dowry to Fathimah binti Rasulullah when he marry her….so there’s no reason to against dowry.
Muslims have mixed their Deen to keep up to west”s ideology in most cases we see our young men and women following west a life of a show with glam and glitter, its best to give a blessing then a expensive wedding (show) that went flop a Marriage is not about your status or how rich but for correct reasons some young muslims become hypocrites may Allah forgive them. not following west in their ways of cheap relationships and broken homes where men have no respect of women or responsibility to their childrens a Marriage is a happy but a simple affair not a commercial flop.
thanks ur contribution. Since am from african continent. let tell a little about marriage in our society. Its d same problem ppl in africa delay wedding dua to there culture.
Jazaak Allah for the article!
Nowadays it is very very hard to find a modest partner who is practicing the deen in a true meaning and who fears Allah in all matters of life!
may ALLAH s.w.t grant us all partners who fear and obey HIM
AMEEN
Jazakallahu Khyran
that was an interesting article. majority of the muslims now a days has total change the meaning of marriage. i’m from Africa, people want evan and earth i mean worldly fortune before they finally settle down (marriage). why because this is a society that believes in throwing big wedding ceremony with lots of people, clothing,etc however to be able to do this they waited for so long. The bottom line of evening is finding the right either sister or brother that understood isalm, hadith and lived it. Vast majority of people most especially the muslim brothers could not get marriage because they cannot afford the marriage itself which is not suppose to be. Marriage should not be placed on worldly things but for the sake of Allah and what the future brings. May Allah continue to strengthen each and everyone one of us on the path of the truth and halal ways ameen salam
my wedding was very small . in fact we really didn’t even have 1 . my husband was a student and I was not working , so when we decided to get married we just went down to the court house and got the papers done , then we went to our mosque and had the emam and my wallie mary us. 4 year is I regretted it not waiting and having a traditiona. l wedding , but my husband always said that it is better to have a wonderful life and healthy children ben a large wedding and photo albums of our wedding day to look back on . 2 day we are a young couple , we are home owners , we have 3 beautiful children , and we live a happy and comfortable life . I honestly do not know if our life would be different now if we had spent a lot of money on a huge wedding , or if it would be exactly the same . but I am thankful that I have a wonderful husband ooooh I love very much . I can tell you for a fact that having a very small wedding ceremony did not affect our lives in the long run . sure sometimes I still wish we had a wedding , but I would much rather have my wonderful family .
I think that if you can afford a nice wedding and it will not be a huge strain on your financial lives , then go for it . but to take out loans from the bank or to spend money that you have been saving as a down payment to a house is just rediculous . everybody should spend with in their means , and if it is not with in your budget to have a large wedding then you should not strain yourself trying to accomplish that .
I personally believe that the 3 things a person should spend on an a wedding is the wedding dress,the wedding cake and a good photographer . if you have a sweet little home wedding or even a small ceremony in your local park, the warm up memories of your wedding will last forever .
I think you can have a beautiful wedding with in your means…yes the wedding of my dreams when I was a teenager, is un realistic…unless I marry someone whose independly wealthy…so in recent years I’ve cut some things & made some changes…& it’s still gonna b beautiful, fun & different…so I totally agree going into debt is unwise….so make smart & reasonable decesions…
Since I was so grateful when I got married to have had my du’as for a partner answered so beautifully, I thought more than anything, this day should be to please Allah. I think if you keep that in mind with each decision, you’ll find it’ll keep things in perspective. I also think, whatever time that you’re spending preparing for the wedding, cut it in half and worry more about preparing for the marriage. Get to know your partners expectations, their family’s expectations, get things out into the open and don’t walk into a marriage blindly because you’re excited about the wedding. The wedding is only one day, the marriage is the rest of your life.
Subhanallah, brilliant article. Its not worth it, to answer the question. Anyone who havs an extravengant wedding even if you can afford it then you are a loser, as you missed out on the baraka from Allah. Dont you want Allah to bless the walima and your marriage, if so, then keep it simple. Simple food, simple venue like the mosque, or a small hall or even someones home. Simple and blessed is the best 😀