How to Deal with Differences in your marriage

Talk about them!
We’re not suggesting you discuss politics or fiqhi views the first time you talk to a prospective spouse, but once you are married, discussing the bigger issues is a MUST. Once the differences are out in the open, come to an amicable compromise for both partners to ensure that they don’t become an issue in the future.

Ignore outside influences and this includes parents!
Ultimately, where your relationship is headed is between you and your partner. While trying to resolve any major differences that may be causing friction between the two of you, try to ignore all outsiders including friends and family. They will obviously be biased, and also might be less likely to work out the differences than you.

Try and understand your partner’s position
Remember that the sanctity of your relationship is more important than the colour of your child’s room. If the difference is major, then merely tolerating the other’s views isn’t enough. You don’t have to agree with them, but having a conversation expressing both your views to comprehend where each is coming from is recommended. This way, you’ll understand their view better and can respect their opinions.

Set a few ground rules
To keep things harmonious (like Muslim Harmony), set out a few rules when it comes to dealing with big differences in your relationship. For example, agree to not talk fiqhi issues at the dinner table or in social settings if you’re both the type who get worked up over the subject.

The difference can make your relationship stronger
It’s usually the big obstacles that, when worked through together, can solidify and strengthen a relationship. Besides, middle-grounds can sometimes be found; for example, many successful inter-racial marriages have happened in our community. Who says you and your partner can’t agree to disagree on smaller matters?

We should remember that some differences can break a marriage. So be proactive with them, and deal with them before it’s too late.