An Intimate Ramadan
So, you have set your Ramadan goals and are on your way to achieving them with consistency and persistence, insha Allah.
Everyone seems to have set their sights on creating a productive ramadan by increasing our ibadah in terms of prayer, sadaqah, Qur’an, etc. However, one aspect of ibadah (or an aspect which can be considered sadaqah when done with proper intentions) is our intimate lives; that is the intimate lives with our spouses.
In the past, I recall getting into arguments with my wife when she felt that I wasn’t spending enough quality time with her. Interestingly enough, these arguments would take place just before work which would result in a decrease in productivity, stress and even tardiness, at times.
You see, as Muslims we are required to be balanced in everything that we do. This Ramadan, do not ignore your intimate relationship with your spouses as it may lead to an Unproductive Ramadan, where khushoo is lost as you’re thinking about your latest conflict during prayer or you miss fajr or isha congregation altogether as you’re trying to work things out with your spouse.
Day in and day out we need to do things with ihsan and sincerity and this should be even more emphasized in Ramadan. Although, you’re probably extremely busy with ibadah, taraweeh, suhoor, ensure you spend quality time with your spouse everyday, even if it’s 10 minutes! This will insha Allah go a long way and increase the love between the spouses and, in turn, allow you to have a peaceful and Productive Ramadan.
By: Abu Ali
it was very interesting to read this, but I have to say this month has brought me and my husband very close that we have not had any arguments,and how have we done this is that we have balanced everything out, during this month i have cut my hours down so that i am home on time to prepare for iftari with my family and husband, we all get together and open our fast, we all get up for seri and prepare food togther for that, during the time i’m at work and my husband is on his days off he will pop into my work place or ring me to find out how I am doing, and if we need anything for iftari as the men like different things every iftari. I think that this month has made me calmer as i can get angry easierly but i have got that under control. also i think that both sides need to understand each other aswell and just help each other out, because there is lots of stress and limited time to spend time together.
This was my first Ramadan Married, and it was tough. Especially finding time for one another, at the start was hard but we made a lot of effort to spend as much time together as possible. To try and incorporate time toegther and ibadah, we often watched islamic lectures together, or attend talks at the mosque. We always made time for one another, even if it was just one hour a day. Make sure you talk to one another daily, and its not just sitting in silence, talk to one another properly. ramadan is about increasing all good deeds, that includes looking after your spouce and making them happy.